


Fake Flowers

by Ariana Deralte (ArianaDeralte), ArianaDeralte



Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-14
Updated: 2009-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-04 10:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArianaDeralte/pseuds/Ariana%20Deralte, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArianaDeralte/pseuds/ArianaDeralte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some missions no ninja ever wishes to admit to having participated in. This was Kakashi's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: Thanks to my beta, Kilerkki:) Enjoy the fic!

Undercover missions were not Kakashi's strong point. He trained as a fighter and a strategist, not a spy. While it was true he had gone undercover a few times when he was younger, those missions had called for a child, and children were allowed to get away with things adults never did. Not that Kakashi was an adult at the age of eleven, but he was far too mature to use the innocent act now – or so he liked to think.

Normally, undercover missions wouldn't be assigned to his team. It wasn't like his sensei was known for his subtlety or like Obito was anything other than loud. But undercover missions not directly related to the war tended to be of C rank. The real trouble was that two of his team mates were still genin. And as genin, they were only supposed to receive C and D rank missions. In these desperate times, their team had done their share of A and B rank missions, but lately it had been a run of C rank missions, which meant that when an undercover C rank mission came up, they had to take it.

It wasn't Kakashi's place to complain. Ninja were tools for Konoha to use as it saw fit, but a small part of him did wish they hadn't drawn this particular C rank mission.

They were to escort a minor official of Water Country and his entourage while he visited Rice Country. It was essentially a sight-seeing visit since there was nothing in Rice Country but a few well-known hot springs. There were no ninja there, so the worst they would encounter were some bandits. Unfortunately, the mission had additional requirements.

Water Country was an old-fashioned place. Their ninja were rumored to use training methods that had been abandoned decades before. It stood to reason that their upper class was the same. Tojo-sama, the official, traveled in the style of a daimyo from a hundred years ago. Namely, in two separate trains for men and women. And not only were they separate trains, but each train had different rules. The most important of which was that no man was allowed within fifty feet of Tojo-sama's wife except for him, and even he had to send her an explanatory poem twenty-four hours in advance.

Kakashi had been given many reasons why their team had to take the mission. Konoha had a man-power problem. Most of the teams were needed at the frontlines. Tojo-sama had refused to pay for more than a C rank mission. Their team was perfectly capable of completing the mission.

And they all were true. That was why when Obito had burst out laughing at their mission briefing he hadn't strangled the other boy with his stupid goggles. That was why he had only tried to glare a hole through his sensei's head when he caught Sensei smiling. And that was why he had tried not to stiffen in terror when Rin gave him a speculative glance and smiled.

'A ninja's duty is to complete his mission. A ninja's duty is to complete his mission.' He had been repeating it like a mantra in his head for a couple of hours now.

"Here's your yukata, Kakashi. Come back when you've changed so we can tie the obi. Oh, and take your mask off so I can put the makeup on," said Rin. She was trying not to laugh.

The mantra wasn't helping.

He headed off into the woods, ignoring Rin heading off in the opposite direction to change. In a trance, he pulled off his usual outfit. He wrapped the cotton yukata around his body and tied it in place with some wire he usually used for traps. Most of his weapons were replaced on his body in different places. It was amazing what the voluminous sleeves of a yukata could hide. Finally, he wrapped the left-over weapons in his old outfit, adding his mask and hitae'ate. Not giving himself time to think, he slipped out of his usual sandals and into a pair of geta.

He grabbed his things and headed back only to have the front of his geta snag on a root, sending him face first into the ground. He flushed, absurdly glad that Obito wasn't there to see. How did girls - and Jiraiya-sama - walk in these things? He took a few minutes to walk around and experiment with the strange footwear until he was satisfied he could walk, kick, and climb trees in them with no trouble. There were advantages to being a genius sometimes.

When he returned to their base camp, Obito was blushingly complimenting Rin on her own yukata. It was a deep green with a repeating pattern of ornamental pine trees and tiny white cranes. The obi and obi ita she held in her hands were a lighter green. Obito would probably have stared all day, but he heard Kakashi approach and turned to look at him.

"That's what you look like with your mask off? No wonder they wanted you to be the girl!"

Kakashi could think of twenty-three ways to kill him from this distance.

"Ah, Kakashi-kun. Just in time," said Sensei, jumping to his feet. "Watch me tie Rin-san's obi so you can do yours or her own later."

Kakashi nodded his understanding. He gave the obi tying the same concentration he usually gave to learning a new jutsu, and it was a good thing he did since it was ridiculously complicated. It was a full ten minutes before Sensei finished the butterfly obi. The blond stepped back and indicated it with a proud grin.

"Sensei!" said Obito. "Why do you know how to tie an obi?" It was a question the other two had been dying to ask.

A faint flush appeared on Sensei's face. He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Well, you know… Jiraiya was… it was certainly an education…" He trailed off under his student's stares. "It's not important. Rin, do you think you can manage Kakashi's obi? I'll help if you need it."

Rin gave Sensei a cheeky grin before nodding her assent. Technically, as a girl, she should have known how to tie an obi before now, but ninja villages worked differently than regular villages and Rin had probably never had an opportunity to wear a yukata in her life. Kakashi knew she had had her mother teach her before she left.

The first thing she did was tug the fabric of his yukata around, fussing about smoothing down the tiniest wrinkle. He was a bit annoyed by her care since he had followed the diagrams he'd been given exactly in how to properly wear the yukata, female style.

"This is the perfect pattern for you," she told him conspiratorially. He gave her a blank stare. If there had been a choice, he would never have chosen the peach colored cloth with a pattern of butterflies and flower petals in a darker orange.

But if there had been a choice he would never have been dressed as girl for this mission in the first place. Their client, Tojo-sama, didn't want his wife to know that she was being guarded by ninja, so the two chosen to guard her would have to be undercover as hired handmaidens. Rin was an obvious choice, though she was enough of a tomboy that she had had to spend almost as much time as Kakashi studying how to be a proper handmaiden to a lady. There were no female chuunin available, so the role of leader fell to Kakashi. He had the authority and skills to protect the women's train with Rin's help. More importantly, he was young and disciplined enough to pass as a girl.

The Hokage was, in fact, cheating a little, since they weren't going to tell Tojo-sama that Kakashi was male. That was why they were changing here in the woods before they walked the last few miles to their destination.

Rin was slower to tie the dark orange obi than Sensei had been with hers. She paused once or twice, forgetting where to tuck and fold, and Kakashi impatiently helped her. He should have looked up obi tying before he left, but he had spent most of his preparation time studying the women around him, memorizing their speech patterns. Nothing would give him away faster than speaking like a boy.

"Seems like you both have it down," said Sensei, once she was finished. There was no sign of his usual smile, but he _sounded_ amused. Kakashi gave the jounin a sour look.

"Hair first, then makeup," said Rin decisively. She pulled out a jar of something that looked a little like a cross between wax and rice gelatin, and handed it to him. "Rub this into your hair while I do mine. Make sure you get all of it."

Kakashi sniffed uncertainly at the jar. It smelled slightly like cinnamon. A pointed look from Rin made him hurry to rub it into his hair. Like magic, his silver hair wilted down against his skull. Rin finished her own bun quickly, then switched to his hair. His wasn't long enough for a bun, but she combed some hair forward and to the sides, then coaxed the rest back in a neat, short ponytail. Kakashi had a feeling he wouldn't be able to recognize himself.

"We'll have to redo it every morning, but we should be fine so long as some of the cream remains in your hair," she said. Kakashi nodded. The less he spoke on this mission, the less he would have to speak like a girl.

Rin studied his face then with an intensity that made him want to fidget for the first time in years. How long had it been since he had been out in public without his mask?

"I'll do your makeup first. You've got a perfect complexion and pale skin so all I need to do are your eyes and lips." She sounded annoyed about something.

Kakashi glanced away nervously, and saw Obito watching their transformation with fascination. "Just do it," he said.

She grabbed his chin and tilted it towards her. "Pay attention so you can do it yourself," she scolded when he closed his eyes. He opened them and dutifully watched as she dipped a small brush in a tiny lacquer container that contained a reddish-orange paste. It smelled faintly metallic. He could feel her outline his lips with it, then carefully brush in the wider parts so they were smooth. An even smaller brush and black paste was used to outline his eyes. She put a traditional dusting of red over his eyelids, then declared him finished. He went to sit down on a nearby log, trying to resist the urge to wipe everything off his face.

'A ninja's duty is to complete his mission. A ninja's -'

"Hey, Kakashi," said Obito, settling down beside him. "I bet you never thought you'd have to do something like this for Konoha." He was far too cheerful.

Kakashi snorted in disgust. Of course, he hadn't expected having to do something like this. What ninja would? But he would do his duty, even when his duty was so… humiliating.

"It's not so bad," said Obito. Kakashi shot the other boy a look. Was Obito trying to comfort him? "No one's ever going to connect the hard ass, Hatake Kakashi, with such a pretty silver-haired girl. I bet you'll even get hit on!"

Kakashi drove the wooden corner of his geta into the top of Obito's sandal, enjoying the other boy's howl of pain. Sensei was going to scold him, but at least he'd found another use for his new footwear.


	2. Fake Flowers Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, it seems you all convinced me to update;) Thank to my beta, Kilerkki:)

A/N: Well, it seems you all convinced me to update;) Thank to my beta, Kilerkki:)

ps. Naruto doesn't belong to me. Neither does Kakashi, alas.

* * *

The train had stopped for the first night at an inn on the outskirts of the town, giving Kakashi and Rin the opportunity to become better acquainted with their clients.

Kakashi was used to adults deciding his fate as if he weren't standing there listening. What he wasn't used to was the fate these adults had in store for him.

"Oh, a soft pink would go excellently with her hair."

"It's summer. She should be in something more festive!"

What Tojo-sama had forgotten to mention in his mission brief was that his wife didn't want extra servants - she wanted dress-up dolls. Kakashi had been at the mercy of the client's wife, Misaki-sama, and her sister, Sachiko-sama, almost since the moment he had arrived. Rin was demurely helping the sisters by fetching a seemingly endless supply of yukata and cloth. Since demure was not an adjective Kakashi would ever have used to describe Rin, he had carefully been watching her and had caught the growing amusement in her eyes at his predicament. He couldn't decide if he preferred it to her flare of anger when he had been picked as the 'cuter' of the two hours before.

Kakashi would happily have given up the honor to her. His experience was limited, but Rin did look pretty in her yukata, even if it was weird to see her with her usual facial markings covered. She probably thought the same thing about him and his mask. Had it just been Rin alone here, the women would have chosen to fawn over her, but Kakashi had an exotic appeal with his silver hair and eyes and pale face. He knew this because the women had told him how amazing his features were several times since this ordeal started.

Not for the first time, he wished he had enough chakra to hold a henge illusion for the two weeks this mission was going to take.

"What do you think, Hatako-chan?"

It took Kakashi a moment to respond to the name. He had reasoned he was much more likely to react better to a feminized version of his family name on this mission, since every time he heard 'Kakaru' or 'Kakki' his mind went blank and he automatically reached for a kunai. What he hadn't counted on was his client's persistent use of 'chan'.

He stared blankly at the three different yukata spread before him. Why did they expect him to have an opinion? "Whatever you think is best, Misaki-sama," he said respectfully. It was the exact same answer he had given half an hour ago when they'd asked his opinion, only this time they didn't seem satisfied.

"Oh! But you must have a preference," said Sachiko-sama. She was the more energetic of the two sisters. The pretty, dark-haired woman had recently been widowed, but if she did miss her husband she certainly wasn't showing it. "What's your favorite color, Ha-chan?"

Did she have to destroy his name even more? He took a deep breath as he considered an answer to the question. He had no favorite color, and would wear whatever was required, this mission being a case in point. "Blue," he said finally, settling on his usual uniform color.

"Dark or light?"

"Dark."

Misaki-sama bit her lip. "That would certainly be striking," she mused.

"Too much would make her look washed out," protested Sachiko-sama.

Kakashi breathed a subtle sigh of relief as they settled back into their debate. So long as they didn't want his opinion, he could just stand there and occasionally let them dress him in one of the yukata they both liked enough for him to try on, but not enough for him to keep wearing. It was a bit like being on sentry duty, only more annoying, since he was going to have to move very quickly to get to the weapons that were secreted away in his original yukata if they were attacked. The light cotton under-robe he was wearing didn't allow for many weapons.

Suddenly, Misaki-sama screamed. Kakashi's hand went for the shuriken tucked in the small of his back, but relaxed when he saw Rin giving the all clear sign. The women were all clustered around the pile of robes. Crouching down to peer past their legs, he could see a huge, black spider sitting happily on yellow and green silk. The two women were obviously repulsed. From the rate they were backing away, they were going to run into him in a moment, yet they couldn't seem to take their eyes off the spider.

He started to push past them to deal with it, but Rin got there first. She picked up one of the nearby lacquer boxes for storing the fabric and easily scooped the spider into it, then walked over to the window of their room and dumped the spider out.

"Rin-chan, you're so brave! You did that so calmly," said Misaki-sama after a moment. "I thought we were going to have to call someone to get rid of it. Are you all right, Hatako-chan?"

Kakashi was insulted by the implication that he was afraid of spiders, but his annoyance must have looked like something else to the older woman because he was suddenly pulled into a deep hug. A hug that became very interesting when his face was pressed into her breasts. Comforting words were whispered into his ear, but he couldn't hear them since he was concentrating very hard on preventing his whole body from turning red in one massive blush.

"Mi-chan, don't suffocate her just because you were scared," scolded Sachiko-sama. Kakashi was abruptly released.

"Sorry, Ha-chan." Kakashi was patted on the shoulder, while he tried not to meet Misaki-sama's eyes. "Why don't you and Rin-chan get some sleep? We'll pick out a pretty yukata for you when we leave in the morning." They didn't wait for his answer, but swept out of the room, avoiding the pile of supposedly spider-infested yukata.

Kakashi glanced over at Rin, daring her to say something.

Never one to lack for courage, she did. "Well, Sensei will be jealous at least."

"It isn't necessary to include in our report," said Kakashi stiffly. "That's an order," he added. While he had never seen Rin blackmail someone, he was certain she wasn't above it.

"Who said anything about the report?" she asked with a grin.

Kakashi sighed. Two more weeks of this.

* * *

"Hatako-san,

To see your beautiful face

As the morning turns to dew

Let my heart be at rest.

– Minato"

Kakashi stared at the verse, desperately trying not to think about the fact that his sensei had sent him love poetry. The message underneath was clear – meet his sensei outside their inn at sunrise – but Sensei could have found a different way of telling him.

"You already have an admirer at your age? How cute. He better not be too old for you," warned Sachiko-sama. "Believe me, twenty years age difference never works out." She sounded bitter.

"Considering how many lovers you've had…" said Misaki-sama disapprovingly, trailing off when she realized that Kakashi and one of the other maids, Fuu-san, were in the room. "Time for us to retire, I think. Hatako-chan, make sure he's good to you." She swept out of the room, Fuu-san and Sachiko-sama trailing her. Kakashi went to find Rin so he could switch their unofficial watch schedule and inform her that he was meeting Sensei, then thought better of it, and first went to find a lamp so he could burn Sensei's love poetry.

The next morning found Kakashi walking softly down the hall, heading for the outside of the inn. He was feeling traumatized from the horror of having to put on his own makeup since Rin was on guard, and so only belatedly remembered to bow respectively to the man he encountered in the corridor. The rules of the women's train were relaxed when it stopped for the day, allowing men within any distance they liked so long as they didn't see Misaki-sama or vice versa. It meant the train could stay in a regular inn so long as they were careful to shield the lady, and the men's train always picked an inn on the opposite side of town.

"Excuse me, miss," called the man after Kakashi had passed him. Kakashi turned. "You have beautiful eyes," said the man with a smile, then walked off with a spring to his step.

Kakashi added the comment to his growing list of moments he would never think of again. It was disturbing how many of those moments had happened over the past few days.

Outside, it was muggy with the sun burning off the early morning haze. Kakashi took up position at one corner of the building. He ignored the stares of the few people on the street. There was no helping the fact that he stood out. Misaki-sama had taken to dressing him in a different yukata each day, and today's was a light blue with pink sakura petals and calligraphy scattered across it.

A half hour later, he was beginning to worry. It wasn't like Sensei to be late, and if Kakashi stayed out much longer he would be missed at breakfast. He scanned the street, his eyes snapping back to where a black-haired boy had just rounded the corner. It was Obito. He was wearing an ill fitting servant's outfit, and he had his usual stupid look of panic on his face about being late. Normally, Kakashi would have been furious about lateness during a mission, but he was too busy desperately hoping that the bouquet of flowers in Obito's hand wasn't for him.

He watched in horror as Obito got closer, the flowers held out before him like some sort of shield. It was too late for an invisibility jutsu, and Sensei would probably object if he killed Obito to avoid embarrassment. Obito stopped in front of him.

"Here." Obito held out the bouquet of blue and yellow flowers.

"You're late," said Kakashi, ignoring the bouquet as if his life depended on it.

"I know. I had to get the flowers. Just take them!" He thrust them into Kakashi's face, making Kakashi's nose twitch. Reflexively, he batted the flowers out of the way.

"Come on, Ka- Hatako-san! Sensei said you can't go court a girl without bringing her flowers, so I did. You think I did this on purpose?"

He probably hadn't, Kakashi concluded reluctantly. If only because his face was a lot redder than Kakashi's was from embarrassment.

"I don't want them," said Kakashi, then let out a deep breath and took them anyway. _It's for the mission. It's for the mission._

"Knew you'd come around," said Obito with a grin, completely forgetting his own embarrassment. "I even got flowers to match your yukata."

"That's not something to be proud of," Kakashi practically growled, ignoring a nearby young man who jumped and stared from hearing such a sound coming from a cute little girl. "What did Sensei say?"

Obito crossed his hands behind his head and stared at the sky for a moment. "Well, first he said to apologize to you because Tojo-sama wanted him to go hunting birds with him early this morning and he couldn't say no."

Kakashi nodded curtly. Sensei was his commanding officer and didn't have to explain anything, but it was good to know that sending Obito hadn't been just to torment Kakashi. "Go on."

"Sensei said to let you know there's someone following the trains."

"How many? Where?" demanded Kakashi. This changed everything.

"Hey! Calm down. He said that it's only one person and they're always a day behind the woman's train, but he doesn't think they mean any harm since the camps are poorly hidden, and they've had plenty of opportunities to attack."

Kakashi allowed himself to relax slightly now that he knew his charges weren't in danger. "What are his orders?"

"He thinks they're a thief looking for something specific so he says to keep your eyes open and see if the ladies have anything valuable to steal," said Obito.

It wasn't in their orders to protect Tojo-sama from theft, but they were likely to get a nice bonus if they did. "I'll upgrade to type two level surveillance of the clients," said Kakashi.

"Yeah," said Obito with such a vague look on his face that Kakashi wondered if he even knew what type two level surveillance was. He opened his mouth to lecture him, then stopped as the smell of a nearby meal caught his nose. Breakfast would be starting. There would be time to correct the idiot later.

"Tell Sensei what I said. Anything else?" he asked.

"He said to send him a poem if you find anything." There was a mischievous glint in Obito's eye that told him Obito had been hanging around Rin for too long.

It was only years of training that kept any reaction from Kakashi's face. _Poetry?!_ Tsunade-sama was right. Sensei was insane. "Fine," said Kakashi, feeling a bit ill at the prospect of writing his report about this mission. "I need to go." He started to walk away.

"Yeah. Me too," said Obito to his back. "Er… Hey, Ka-Hatako-san, what's it like?" Kakashi knew he meant living as a girl, or maybe living with so many women.

It was a stupid question to ask on the street, but Kakashi did consider answering it for a moment. Scary? Weird? Disturbing? He shook his head. Obito would never understand how nice he was being by not explaining. "You don't want to know." He headed back inside.

* * *

A/N: One more chapter I think. What crossdressing fic would be complete without a bath house scene? eg I'd love to know what you found most amusing here (just so I know what's working and what isn't). Cheers and thanks to everyone for the reviews:) 


	3. Fake Flowers Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers. I've had the first part of this chapter written for ages, but it was only today that the inspiration for the second part hit me. Hope you all enjoy.

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers. I've had the first part of this chapter written for ages, but it was only today that the inspiration for the second part hit me. Hope you all enjoy.

#

Kakashi had thought he was safe from having to visit the hot springs with any of the women's train. Rin had discretely told the ladies at the beginning that he had disfiguring scars on his body which he refused to either show or mention. Scars he was prepared to jutsu into existence at a moments notice if he needed to. Sachiko-sama and her sister had looked at him with pity after that but not insisted he ever take off his under garments. Rin guarded the train while in the hot spring and he waited in the outer rooms that were for families to sit in and socialize.

Over a week later, Sachiko-sama paused as he went to take his usual place. "Hatako-chan, I feel bad leaving you out here all the time. Why don't you come in with us? You can wear a light yukata. No one will mind."

Years of ninja training prevented the panic from showing on Kakashi's face. "I'm all right, Sachiko-sama. I'm not really feeling well."

Her face brightened. "Oh, but this spring is famous for healing your ills. There could be nothing healthier. You're coming in." It was a direct order. There was nothing he could do. She told one of the servants to get a yukata for him then headed inside. He stood there, feeling lightheaded as he both blushed and paled at the thought of what he was about to do. He was about to live Jiraiya-sama's… no, every man's wet dream. And he was more terrified then he would ever be facing an S-rank nin. He had the sinking feeling that his mission report was going to be as infamous as Masakatsu's "I accidentally glued myself to a giant squirrel" report.

The servant handed him the yukata and he bravely approached the doorway. It had a colorful cloth hanging in front of it that said "women" in kanji. Slipping inside, he first noted how much warmer it was. He could taste the moisture in the air. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his eyes from where they were fixed on the floor.

Gah. An old lady who didn't look a day over one hundred stood boldly in front of him, drying herself off with a tiny towel. He quickly looked away to a sea of bare flesh and curves. Paradise. Now if only he were a bit older… He shook his head to clear away the uncharacteristic thought. He really spent too much time around Jiraiya and Sensei. So what if he was surrounded by naked women, most of them young and beautiful? He had a mission to complete.

"Stop drooling," said Rin, appearing at his shoulder. She guided him to a corner, ignoring his glare. There were baskets on shelves along the walls where you placed your clothes and belongings while bathing. He noticed her henge, but didn't realize what it was for until she slammed him up against the wall. Her illusion held and no one in the room noticed.

"Rin?" he asked in a low voice.

"You're going to see me naked here too, you know," she said, "Or did you forget that?"

His eyes widened. He had forgotten.

"If you ever…" she threatened, and it was interesting that she could blush and still look menacing.

"I'm not Obito," he said. Or Jiraiya, he added silently. "The mission is what's important."

Was it his imagination, or did she almost roll her eyes there? Either way, she became the collected ninja he respected. "I'm going to cast your henge, scars and all, since I assume you're not as familiar with female anatomy." Her face clearly said that if he was, he better not mention it. He nodded, and waited the minute it took her to visualize and cast the henge. Kakashi was impressed she cast it under his clothes, and relieved she hadn't realized she could have made him strip. He changed into the yukata. A scar was visible on his skin right where the sleeve ended. He admired Rin's attention to detail.

After that, she dropped the other henge, making the changing room seem unnaturally loud. He placed his clothes in a basket, keeping his eyes straight ahead. Sachiko–sama danced over to him, telling him for the third time how excited they were he was joining them. He was beginning to suspect she had a hot spring fetish.

He allowed her to drag him out into the main part. There were even more women out there on the wet rocks. Some were splashing water on themselves from buckets. Others lounged, partially submerged in the water. Thick clouds of steam drifted up and around, but served to hide nothing. Part of him wanted to be polite and not look, but he had to in order to guard these women effectively. He just hoped they bought the idea that his blush was from embarrassment and the heat.

All three of them used the buckets to scoop up some water. There were small stools to the side with soap nearby where you could sit and wash off. Kakashi did so, keeping his head down after the first glance at Sachiko-sama revealed soapy curves, and… and… His toes were very interesting, weren't they? Once they washed off (Rin was the only one to wash her hair), they headed for the main pool.

Misaki-sama was waiting. She and a friend had claimed a sheltered grotto near the hotter part of the pool. Water trickled in a burning white waterfall down one side of the rock. Unused to the heat, both Kakashi and Rin perched on high rocks, sitting in only a few inches of water.

Kakashi could feel his skin itching from the minerals in the water, but what was worse was that the peach-colored yukata he'd been given was entirely see through. His scars were covered but he could see their shadows from up close. With a sigh, he slipped into the water, finding it more bearable now that he was used to it.

"Isn't it relaxing, Ha-chan?" asked Misaki-sama. "I haven't met a woman who doesn't feel better after a visit to a hot spring."

"Or a man," joked Sachiko-sama. "Usually because they've been peeping." She gestured over at the bamboo wall that separated the women's side from the men's. Everyone laughed, though Kakashi's was a bit belated. He really wasn't used to hot springs and the water was making him feel light-headed. It was a sensation he couldn't afford, so with a glance down at his nearly transparent yukata, he pulled himself onto one of the rocks so his feet were still in the water. The other women were discussing childbirth in such frank terms he wished they'd go back to discussing clothing or men.

Several minutes later, his gaze drifted towards the cold pool – an ice cold pool that was often used before or after entering some of the hotter pools and the sweat room. There was a shadow reflected in the pool, as if someone was leaning over the edge of the roof. Kakashi was up and over there in seconds, using chakra to keep his footing on the slippery stones. He pulled out one of the shuriken he had secreted at the small of his back and tossed it up to the roof where their watcher would be.

"Gaaah!" There was a sound of tumbling and a roof tile slipping loose. Kakashi was about to jump up there when Rin's hand closed warningly on his wrist.

"A man! On the roof!" she wailed, then leant in to whisper in his ear, "Sensei is on the other side. He'll take care of it."

Kakashi nodded. He would have been happy to break his cover, but protocol said he shouldn't if there were other options. Sensei would be fine.

"He's probably chasing him naked across the rooftops," Rin said with a grin. Kakashi blanched at the unexpected image, but couldn't help a malicious smirk which he quickly hid. At least someone else was getting their share of embarrassment on this mission.

"Hatako-chan, you moved so fast! How did you see the man from all the way over there?" asked Misaki-sama. She was holding her small, pink hand towel over her hips and breasts, though it didn't hide much.

Sachiko-sama was behind her, frowning up at the rooftop, no towel in sight. "What did you throw at him?" she asked.

Kakashi thought fast. "I just… felt his eyes on me."

"Oh, women's intuition," said Rin knowingly. It took all of Kakashi's willpower not to look at her askance.

"Yes," he said. "So I ran over and threw a rock at her. I didn't know what else to do."

"You should have called for help like Rin-chan," said Misaki-sama, "but that was very brave of you."

Kakashi bowed. "Thank you."

"What did he look like?" asked Sachiko-sama. She was still staring up at the roof as if expecting a glimpse.

"He had red hair," said Kakashi truthfully. He wondered if it was one of the guests, a stranger, or maybe the thief who was following them.

"Long, red hair?" asked Sachiko-sama. Her voice sounded strange, and Misaki-sama was looking at her sister with a frown on her face.

"Yes," said Kakashi.

"Oh well, I'm sure the inn will take care of it," said Sachiko-sama. "Let's get back to the pool." They were herded back to their alcove where everyone discussed their worst experience with peeping toms. Kakashi's eyes widened as he listened to what women had to put up with.

Ten minutes later, he was still on alert, but it took him by surprise when Misaki-sama came to float in front of him, her long hair spreading out in a wave behind her. She peered up at him, and he blushed and panicked, wondering if Rin's henge had failed. Suddenly, she broke into a smile. "Ah, Ha-chan! Your hair has gone fluffy in the heat. It's so cute!" She stood up to pet him on the head and he stared resolutely over her shoulder trying not to look at her chest, or break her hand off. The only person he let pat him on the head was Sensei.

She settled down again, and took his hand. Her other hand reached out to lightly trace the scar that showed where his sleeve ended. "You will be a beautiful woman, Hatako-chan," she said, her tone serious and steady. "Don't ever let these stop you."

"I won't," he said after a long moment, hoping it was the right thing to say.

"Good," she said. "Remind me to give you some cream for those rough hands of yours tonight." She turned away to address the others before he could even nod his assent. Like any ninja, his hands were covered in calluses from all the weapons he handled. "Everyone, let's move to the sweat room!"

Several of the women stood up, and Kakashi tipped over, startled by the change in scenery. They all rushed over to help him, baring more of their bodies. Even Rin was entirely un-self-conscious. It was going to be a long evening.

#

That evening, Kakashi heard a series of thumps on the roof above his and Rin's room. They sounded like they were heading towards Misaki-sama and her sister's rooms. Within seconds, he had woken Rin and tied the inn's brightly patterned yukata around him. They headed out the corridor, running silently on the wooden boards. The moonlight was bright. It shone through the windows in the thin walls that separated the corridor from the inner garden.

There was no sign of anyone outside Misaki-sama's room, but Sachiko-sama's had light shinning through the paper doors. Kakashi used hand signals to tell Rin to join him on the roof. Up there, things were a bit crowded. Sensei and Obito were crouched on the outer edge of the roof, both of them hanging over the side so they could see inside the room below. Kakashi tapped Sensei on the shoulder, knowing the other man must have sensed them ages before, and asked with a look what was going on. Sensei gestured for them to look as well.

Sachiko-sama's room had large, sliding windows which could be opened to let in the cool, evening air. They also allowed all four ninja to have an excellent view of the inside of the room.

Sachiko-sama was on the lap of the red-haired man he had glimpsed peeping at the bath. They kissed for quite a long time – Kakashi went through the ninja rules twice before they stopped.

"Oh, Taiji. Why don't we run away?" asked Sachiko-sama, her tone joking.

Taiji pretended to think for a minute. "Perhaps your elderly husband is the reason?"

Sachiko-sama pouted. "Fine, but you could have come sooner."

"There are ninja guarding this train! I only escaped because someone threw a bucket at him for being a pervert." Obito muffled a snicker.

"Or maybe it's just because you spied on the baths." Sachiko-sama smacked him lightly on the arm.

"I'm here now, my love," said Taiji. "Let's not waste our time in conversation." They kissed and began to pull off their robes. Kakashi felt Sensei pull him up from the edge, and frowned at the other man. It wasn't like Kakashi was going to watch _that_. They all retired to the opposite corner of the roof, trusting on the sounds below to block out their whispered conversation.

"Well, that explains the poor camping skills of our follower. He's a lover, not a tracker, or fighter, or just about anything," said Sensei, looking self-satisfied.

"Did you really get hit with a bucket, Sensei?" asked Rin. Kakashi was always impressed by how she could make herself sound so innocent.

"Ah," said Sensei, his blush visible in the moonlight. "I really should have henged some clothes on before I entered that part of the inn." Rin had to put her hand over Obito's mouth to muffle his laughing.

#

A few days later, the mission ended. Tojo-sama called the ninja to him to formally thank them. Kakashi and Rin went back to their quarters afterwards to change into their original yukata, since Misaki-sama and Sachiko-sama had insisted on them wearing one more new yukata before they left. While they were changing, Misaki-sama entered the room, and Kakashi used Rin as a distraction to finish his changing before turning to face her.

For all his ninja reflexes, Kakashi had no idea how Misaki-sama was standing demurely in front of him one minute, then hugging him tightly the next.

"Thank you," she said in his ear. "You and Rin-chan did an excellent job guarding us and ignoring my sister's visitor."

He stiffened and pulled away; surprised she knew their real purpose. Her husband was clueless. She grinned at him while he looked down at the ground. "I have some presents for you two." She gestured to a servant who fetched two square packages wrapped in cloth. Kakashi took his, noting how light it was. "Your favorite yukata."

Kakashi peeked under the cloth wrapping wondering what Misaki-sama's idea of his 'favorite' was. It was dark blue, and some shifting of the cloth revealed it was one he had worn the second day of the mission. White, stylized waves chased the bottom of the yukata while growing flocks of birds flew across the chest, back and sleeves. Kakashi wouldn't have said it was his favorite, but it had defiantly been the most tolerable of all the designs they had thrown at him.

"Thank you, Misaki-sama," he said in a chorus with Rin.

"It's the least I could do," she said. "Wear those and you'll have cute boyfriends in no time." She shared a grin with Rin, while Kakashi did his best not to wince. "And here's one now."

Kakashi turned to see Sensei and Obito in casual clothes. Obito's were even sloppier than usual; he must have overslept. "Rin, uh, chan," said Obito, clearly happy to see one of his teammates. He ignored Kakashi.

Misaki-sama patted Kakashi on the shoulder. "Don't worry," she stage whispered, "you can do better."

Rin choked. Obito looked confused. Sensei became very interested in the ceiling, and Kakashi pushed down his knee-jerk horror to nod solemnly in agreement. He was probably going to spend the rest of his career trying to live down this mission, but the look of dawning anger on Obito's face almost made it worth it.

Owari.

#

Reviews and comments appreciated.


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